Sea of Monsters
by Annie-marie6
Summary: Thrid in my Gods read the book, follows 'Freaking out the Gods' and 'And Basically Run'. How will Percy remember his adveentures in time and space and will he want to keep them when he does. Only Thalia Grace has the answers... and she hasn't met him yet.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Anything recognisable from the works below has been utterly and shamelessly _BORROWED _from other books, movies, TV shows, Ect. Ect. Enjoy my lovelies.

Poseidon's P.O.V

If I kept learning things like this about my son I don't know if I could follow the Gods no contact rule. If you knew every time that your child was hurting and exactly how they felt at the time how could you not go? Sometimes I wondered what was the point… in anything, if everything we did was wrong. I put it out of my mind as Hades began to read.

My Mom, when I got home squeezed me so tight I thought my head was going to explode of the top of my shoulders. I loved every second of it; I had really begun to miss my Mother.

"I'd say wuss but…" Ares started in an attempt to keep things normal.

"Arcadia," I said making him flinch. I was happy that he'd missed Sally, because she was a great woman and as long as he missed her he would keep coming back to New York. I was scared that he'd leave to a place were I couldn't even watch over him one day.

"**So," she asked after we'd sat down, "How was wherever you skipped out of camp for?" I completely froze for a minute, unable to figure out how she knew where I'd been before smiling and taking out the scrapbook that we had started completing on holiday and told her almost everything.**

"I would have flipped if I were in her shoes," Hera admitted.

"I wonder if you noticed?" Apollo asked me. I didn't answer, because I didn't know.

"**So Clarisse upstairs is a daughter of Ares and those little girls are her mortal sisters?" Mom asked, "No wonder she wanted to pay me to baby sit in the summer. And Rick Castle is a son of Apollo?"**

"Thank Grandmother Rhea," Ares said, "I was scared that she wouldn't go back to camp."

"Why?" Athena asked.

"Because if she didn't go back to camp then I don't know how long she'd live when Kronos takes over," he responded.

"**Yep, he tells great stories," I said before my curiosity got the better of me, "Mom how did you know that I wasn't at camp?"**

"Does anyone get the feeling that we don't want to know?" Hermes said.

"Nah, I this'll answer a lot of Poseidon's questions," Apollo said. Considering how I met Sally I hoped so.

"**Because you had that look," she responded, "The one you only get when you've been travelling but you haven't been travelling across just the earth have you? You've seen whole new worlds and all their stars… I can see it in your eyes."**

"She can't know that," Aphrodite exclaimed, "How is it possible to even see that in another person."

"Easy," Hestia said with the tiniest secret smile, "You just have to have it to." Sometime I forget that she'd been places that we could only dream of.

"**But how can you… oh," I started to ask before looking at her, looking at her properly for the first time in ages, "You can see it… because you've got it too."**

"Told you," Hestia said matter of factly.

"Nobody said anything against you sweetie," Demeter said, braiding and un-braiding her wheat coloured hair.

"**It's a long story," she said, "When I was nineteen I met a man, he had a little blue box called the TARDIS that was bigger on the inside and could anywhere in time and space." **

"Aw fuck it's Lyra's alien," Apollo said before stiffening.

"What?" Artemis asked concerned.

"It's not just her alien… it's her _Time Lord_" Apollo breathed, "In every way." That was… scary, but Ares just looked like he'd been smacked in the face.

"It can't be," he murmured. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"**You travelled with the Doctor," I said ruffling through my pocket for something. Finding what I was looking for I held up my TARDIS key. "Tell me everything," I request, she leans back with a smile on her face, letting her old English accent seep back through and told me.**

"You know I'd forgotten about that," I said fondly, "She lost that shortly after we first met." My brothers pouted adorably, I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and took both of there hands.

"**I met the Doctor the day he blew up my job," she started grinning, "I was nineteen and dumb. A bleach blonde, selfish, self adsorbed, whiny brat, but I managed to get invited along anyway. He took me to see the day the earth blew up."**

"What the fuck!" Aphrodite said, "That is not first date material."

"So the earth will be destroyed one day," Hera said softly, "I wonder when, and what happens to us?" There was a pause of uneasy silence before…

"**He does things like that sometimes. It depends on which regeneration you get," I said quietly. Regeneration being the term for when a Time Lord dies, it's like a trick. They burn up with energy and change everything; looks, personality, quirks, becoming almost another person but still the same. **

"Fuck," Zeus swore shortly, "Really?" Ares nodded.

"Please tell me that Dad can't do that," Demeter groaned. That would make him fucking immortal… immortal-er? Anyway we'd be screwed.

"**Yeah well after that it was all ghosts in Cardiff, meeting my Dad before he died, paradoxes, underground alien museums, nanogenes in World War 2 and Captain Jack," she said chuckling fondly.**

"Whoa, whoa, whoa" Athena said, "Nanogenes? What the hell are they and what are they doing in WW 2?"

"Nanogenes are tiny microscopic robots that are found in med ships," Ares explained, "They patch people up, get them ready for the frontline. I think they must have crashed."

"Then how come we didn't notice them?" I asked curiously.

"We did, _'Are you my Mummy?' _remember?" he said, "They went wrong." I actually did remember, but if he knew this before why didn't he say anything when it happened?

"**Captain Jack Harkness?" I asked before freezing in horror, "Please tell me you haven't slept with him."**

"Wait, that's that mortal that keeps getting killed and coming back against his will," Hades said, "What does she have to do with him."

"From what she told me he was her human best friend," I said, "Apparently he's a man whore."

"He hit on me," Hades said, "As well as… oh, everyone else in the underworld and then he get sucked back to life, forgets everything and repeats the process." I'm not jealous, I told myself… I refuse to be jealous.

"**No, the first night I met him I was hanging by a barrage balloon wearing a shirt with a Union Jack on the front in the middle of a German air raid," she confessed, "He saved me and there was waltzing with champagne on an invisible spaceship to Glen Miller while he was trying to con me but we never slept together."**

"She wasn't kidding when she said she was dumb, was she?" Athena asked in surprise.

"As someone who's met Jack, yes she is," Hestia said, "Oh, if I weren't a virgin goddess…"

"Actually I meant the Union Jack in the middle of an air raid," Athena responded, "Is he that…"

"Oh yes," Aphrodite said.

"**Good," I said thankfully, "Because that would have been incredibly awkward."**

"Wait a go Percy," Hestia said.

"I know that I probably don't want to know, but I find myself questioning exactly how old was he when he got into this guys bed?" I asked.

"Oh honey, that is so not the question," Aphrodite said, "The question is how he ever found the strength to get out."

"**Wait did you…" she stuttered, "I'm mean it's okay if you did but…."**

"That threw her," Apollo laughed.

"Yeah, but she's not even angry that he slept with her best friend," Dionysus commented. No, not Sally… she will always be one hell of a woman.

"**Yeah, but I was about twenty-two at the time," I said recalling the memory and wishing it wasn't so fuzzy. She looked at me in confusion. "I sort of grew up while travelling about, but then the Doctor and Lyra de-aged me so they weren't messing with the time line," I explained, "It's confusing, but tell me more."**

"Well, now we know how he spent so much time travelling the universe and is still the same age physically in age," Athena said happily. The more the blanks were filled in the happier she got.

"I just want to know what that pocket watch means," Zeus grumbled.

"**Well we saved the day, everybody lived and Jack started to travel with us," she told me, "But then there was the Darlek's and satellite five. We got kidnapped into the games and found out the Darlek's the Doctor sent me home in the TARDIS. I don't think that he'll ever underestimate human stubbornness again. I got back by becoming Bad Wolf…"**

"Bad Wolf, what is that?" Artemis said, her eyes gleaming at the mention of her sacred animal.

"Nothing good," Apollo said after a moment, "I can't see it exactly, but nothing good."

"**Your Rose Tyler," I said, knowing which companion she was the second she said Bad Wolf. "You ripped open the heart of the TARDIS and absorbed the time vortex," I said in awe, "Going back to the Doctor and erasing the Darlek's from time and space, making Jack immortal"**

"Fuck me," Ares said, "I we better not piss her off."

"Yeah, there's another powerful parent that is against the offing of Percy," I said. The entire room looked at me in surprise.

"I didn't realise that anybody still wanted to," Hades said. The scary part was that they didn't and it was something that we all agreed on.

"**Yes… he eventually forgave me for that, even though he had to take the long way, it was centuries before he saw me again for him. I came the quick way," she chuckled.**

"I wish that they'd talk about things that make sense," Athena groaned.

"Tell me about it," Hera agreed. I think the moment that we understand everything is the day my head implodes.

"**Lyra _hates _you," I reminded her and she did. Really, really hated her with a passion.**

"She's fucked, was fucked, will be fucked… fuck I hate time travel," Apollo groaned.

"You can't say fuck four times in the same sentence unless your having sex," Aphrodite chirped. There was a pause of awkward silence.

"**Yeah, I think the only reason that she didn't kill me was because she knew that if she did that I wouldn't become…" she trailed off, unsure of how to finish that sentence.**

"Yeah, that doesn't help us," Hera groaned. There was a chorus of agreements. I wish that I understood, even though I had the feeling that at the end… all I would want is to forget.

"**She hated Rose Tyler, but she loves her Aunt Sally," I reassured her, "And if she'd killed you then I would have never of been born. Stupid time travel, you can never meet anyone in the right order."**

"Ain't that the truth," Hestia said shaking her head.

"**Tell me about it, anyway after the Doctor pulled the time vortex out of me he regenerated," she continued, "Then there were aliens at Christmas, being possessed by a human trampoline, werewolves and Queen Victoria and Sarah-Jane Smith. I was so jealous when I met her."**

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Ares burst out laughing, "She didn't figure it out?"

"Figure what out?" Artemis asked.

"Lets just say she could join the hunters no problem," he said. I laughed. Oh Sally, what have you gotten yourself into?

"**Really?" I asked bursting out laughing, "Tell me you didn't think he was in love with her?" She nodded uncertainly. "Oh Mom, Sarah-Jane is a lesbian and so in love with Lyra it isn't funny." **

"She worthy of being in love with her?" Hera asked. Ares nodded.

"Yes, but from what I heard she didn't get anywhere with it," Ares responded.

"**Oh Gods," Mom moaned blushing twenty shades of red, "That is so embarrassing. We blew up the school that was being invaded by this race of bat type aliens that were eating the kids. K9 blew up too though."**

"K9?" I asked apprehensive. What the hell was that?

"**No, not the sarcastic tin dog," I groaned, "He better of made her another one. You know there was a regeneration that gave them out like toys. When ever the current companion left they stayed with them, he acted so surprised but he kept programming them to do that."**

"What the fuck, a sarcastic tin dog that he programs to abandon him?" Hephaestus said, surprising me. He hadn't spoken in so long I had actually forgotten he was here.

"**How many regenerations have you met?" Mom asked. I thought about it for a moment.**

"That's a good question, the more he knows about Time Lord in general the better the up coming war will go," Athena said.

"The question is how much does he remember?" Aphrodite said oddly serious, "Something is messing with his head."

"Does… does anybody wonder if he… maybe, could possibly… know Kronos personally?" Hestia asked. My heart jumped into my throat and froze as we all sat there in silence. We couldn't be this unlucky could we?

"**I think I met almost all of them," I answered after a second, "What happened after Sarah-Jane?" **

"How many are there?" Zeus asked quietly.

"The Time Lord council decreed that a Time Lord only has 12 regenerations, politics," explained Ares, "But now… I don't know, I think it's unlimited if he escaped the Time War."

"**Mickey, the guy that was my sort of boyfriend for a while came along with us. We wound up in a parallel world with a Cybermen invasion," she said, "We beat the Cybermen but when it came time to leave Mickey chose to stay. His Gran that had died in this world was still alive there."**

"That's so sweet," Demeter cooed. I just shook my head as Hades read over her. Scarily enough they were really close in Fathers stomach.

"**I can understand," I said, it was something that I would have done. **

"I know that we'd agreed to this previously but I don't care if we have to chain him to the décor, were keeping him," Aphrodite declared passionately. Normally I would feel disturbed but I shared her sentiment… in a less creepy way.

"**After that we lost the TARDIS for a while, stuck orbiting around a black hole," she said.**

"That's impossible," Athena declared.

"Almost, you'd have to be generating a power source of six to the power of six every six seconds," Are said frowning. Athena, I knew was hurt more than when either Apollo of Hermes hurt her. She had had an intellectual equal that she had always dismissed as stupid.

"That is impossible," Hephaestus said interested.

"**But that is impossible," I said laughing delightedly; I loved it when people trounced the impossible odds. **

"Well that works out good for us," Hermes said, "What with the impossible to win war looming over us." We all laughed at that.

"**Yeah, well we managed to get out of there and then there was the battle of Canary Warf" she sighed, "And Torchwood…"**

"That was…" Zeus said hesitantly. We just nodded, remembering.

"Wait," Apollo said sounding terrified, "Those things, not the metal mean the other ones… those… those are Darlek's?"

"Yeah," Ares said distantly.

"**I know," I said sparing her from explain. "They played with a hole in the space-time continuum, and Darlek's and Cybermen attacked the city."**

That was something that never ceased to amaze me. The stupidity of the human race, things like an alien invasion, because even if I didn't know what it was before I did now, happen and then they just goon like nothing ever happened. No mist necessary.

"**And Pete, my Dad from the parallel world come across from the other side of the breech," she explained, "He and Mum met and when it was time to pull all the Darlek's and Cybermen back into the void they went back to the parallel world. I was supposed to go to."**

"Somehow I don't see that happening, especially if he has Sally's stubbornness," I said.

"Yeah, I really need you to give me her number," Aphrodite said dreamily. I won't lie, tiny bit scared. I could only imagine what those to could do together.

"**You refused and then later you were nearly sucked into the void," I finished, "You were stuck there until the thing with the planets in the sky,"**

"I don't think that ones happened yet," Artemis said after a moment. Great I thought another thing to look forward to.

"**Then I met Donna and Martha and I was so jealous, I actually thought I was in love with him… he was just one of my best friends," she said sadly, "We would have all died if it wasn't for Donna, she stopped the stars going out."**

"The stars go out," Athena gasped, "What could have done that?"

"**A reality bomb would have made much more than the stars go out… it would have erased all of time and space. _I can't help but wonder if the Time Lord stole that idea from the Darlek's or if the Darlek's stole it form them,_" the last part came out as a quiet murmur, a half forgotten question.**

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Zeus swore. I shivered in the non-existent cold that was something I was not looking forward to.

"Nope," Hades said, "This isn't going to be good, do you have any idea what this is going to do for the underworlds traffic?" I chuckled, only Hades.

"Donna caused a biological meta-crisis, making a clone of the Doctor and herself both part Time Lord part human," she said, "The human Doctor came through the void and into the parallel world with me. We got married, because it was what I thought I wanted but later on we both realised it wasn't right."

"Gah, does anyone else's head hurt?" Hermes said staring eyes wide at the book. We nodded in agreement.

"Not really," Apollo said, "I see parts of the future all the time, you get used to it eventually." I had never thought about it like that.

"**Then how did you get back to this universe?" I asked curiously, because that was where the story of Rose Tyler, companion to the Doctor ended.**

"That is what I want to know," I murmured. Zeus pecked me on the lips and chuckled.

"Well if you let Hades read he'll tell you," Zeus said. Can you believe the other Gods had the audacity to laugh at us? Aphrodite declared us cute.

"**He started to get sick… and he wouldn't get better. The day before he died he gave me a device that would get me back to this universe" she said with tears running down her face, "It was a long time coming I think, but after that I _hated _myself. I came back to this universe determined to be everything that I wasn't before."**

"Is that when you met her?" Demeter asked me.

"Yeah," I responded, "I picked her name."

"**Montauk, you ended up on the beach there and that's how you met Dad," I said connecting the dots.**

"How is he connecting the dots, it a completely random theory," Athena said in amazement.

"That is Percy for you," Hestia said laughing, "Nothing will make any sense at all, to everybody else. Until he does that thing where he explains it all and you stand there thinking _'huh, how the fuck did I miss that?'"_

"**Yeah, that exact night actually. I wanted to know what he was because I could see he wasn't human and he wanted to know more about the stubborn girl that appeared with a flash of light, determined to change everything about herself and could see through the mist," she said a wistful smirk on her face.**

"No wonder you couldn't resist her," Aphrodite said smiling. But the truth bothered me more that it should because it was wrong, so wrong.

"I had never met anyone that had hated themselves as much as she did," I said quietly. They looked at me in surprise, like they couldn't understand why I helped her. I suppose it was because I needed saving too and there was nobody there to help me.

"**And then I came along," I said finishing the story.**

There was Goddesses cooing, but I'll just pretend that I was internally joining them. I missed my son, because whoever he was now, what ever he's become… I had no part in it.

"**Yeah, best bit about coming through the void… when I come out the other end I was seventeen again," she said, "Now off to bed, you've got school tomorrow."**

"Oh, he's not going to like that," Hermes chuckled.

"I don't understand why so many demigods are against school," Athena said, genuinely confused.

"It's because everything is in English," Hades drawled sardonically. She blushed cherry red and I snickered at her.

"**What?" I groaned, she had that look the one that said there was no point in arguing with her. "Fine," I sighed, "Love you Mom."**

"Aw," Hera squealed, "That is just perfect." Nobody inched their thrones away from my crazy sister… nope not at all.

"Idiots," Apollo murmured.

"Psych," Hera said bursting out in laughter, "You losers are to easy fool."

"**Love you too baby," she said heading off to bed. **

"Next," Hades said throwing the book to Aphrodite. She caught it read the first few lines.

"Oh, I'm gonna like this chapter," she chirped.

Phew, finished. Here is my new and improved (Read, stuffed full of Doctor Who and other fandoms) start to Sea of Monsters. What do you think? Review me and let me know.

**Also, favourite characters from the TV show _Charmed? _Don't ask but it important to the story.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I decided to cut out Zeus's chapter, because the whole Charmed thing wasn't working. I couldn't right this chapter with it still there. I hope you forgive me. enjoy the chapter and tell me what you think.**

* * *

Hades P.O.V

Sally Jackson was one of the most unique mortals to roam the planet, I thought to myself. It was little wonder that my brother loved her, at least for a while. I was immensely glad that she was only his best friend now, because I didn't want to compete with the extraordinary woman. I couldn't just lock Poseidon in the Underworld… Zeus would get pissy.

**The rest of the year passed in what I'd call semi-alright. I went to school, which I hated immensely and oddly felt that I knew most of the stuff already. Why couldn't they teach me anything useful?**

"Because your thousands of year old and have more knowledge than they do," Hestia said with false charm. I chuckled, this book was good for her. She was usually so quiet.

**I also spent a lot of time with my Mom as well. Mostly we talked, about, well anything and everything. I also hung out in the underworld a lot to. **

"Didn't he shoot you repeatedly the last time he went to the underworld?" Aphrodite asked curiously.

"Yep," I said popping the p, "You aren't messing with me?" I asked Hermes, who was currently reading. He shook his head, ah fuck.

**I spent time chatting to Charon, met Persephone and Demeter, fixed the cable and spent once a week watching 'Two Broke Girls' with Uncle Hades. Which after sulking initially, realised whom my friend Stephy was and that he couldn't make me leave or kill me because every time he tried Persephone and Demeter got pissy.**

"Yay, I have cable," I cheered, with Demeter.

"Wait, you watch 'Two Broke Girls'? I love that show," Aphrodite gushed before stopping, "Is no one worried about this being what were most excited about?" My brothers looked at each other for a moment before deciding.

"Nah," they chorused…. I'm sleeping with idiots.

**After I moved Aunty Demeter off of her cereal phase and on to peach vodka we were good though. She now drinks more than Mr D. would if he were allowed to. She was a fun person to be around when she was drinking and really nice so it didn't matter.**

"Peach vodka? As in vodka made from peaches?" Demeter asked excitedly, "Ooh gimmie, gimmie," Dionysus conjured her a bottle and she threw the cereal box over the back of her chair and popped the cap.

"Skull, skull, skull, skull, skull," we all chanted. She tipped the bottle to her lips and sucked it down. You could see her struggle as the alcohol burned her throat, her eyes water and her hands shook. The empty bottle crashed to the floor and we cheered, that was probably the coolest thing that my sister has ever done… ever.

**This week though was what I had been looking forward to. Today was officially the start of the last week of school. Thank the Gods, I thought as I disentangled myself from my sheets.**

"Your welcome," some of the more immature Gods said. Cough-Poseidon-cough.

"**I really need to stop drinking peach vodka with Aunty Demeter," I muttered, remembering the really weird dream I just had. Grover was being chased through Florida before hiding in a wedding boutique and asking me to come save him. A Cyclopes was calling him his darling.**

Aw… what the fuck is it with members of the female specie and their thrice-damned need to coo at everything that they find adorable. It's really annoying.

"**Percy," a childish voice called before there was a booming feeling, as seven foot five inches of Tyson jumped on my bed. Speaking of Cyclopes, I thought to myself.**

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What exactly does it mean, speaking of Cyclopes?" Hera asked in a defeated tone of voice. The kind that said here we go again.

"**Hey buddy," I said giving him a hug "Is it breakfast time already?" You may think that it's a bit rude for me to speak to someone about my age like that, but Tyson, no matter how big or scary looking is a big kid on the inside.**

"Being a Cyclopes he probably is," Poseidon said shrugging. I went along with it because other than Hephaestus who was agreeing with him anyway, Poseidon spent the most time around them.

"**Yeah, Aunt Sally is making blue waffles for you and she's getting me peanut butter sandwiches," he said excitedly, jumping off the bed and racing into the kitchen. We found Tyson at my school before realising that he was from the wacky world of myth like me.**

"Wacky world of myth, gee thanks Percy," Hestia mumbled.

"So, do you think we get jackets," Artemis said… we burst out laughing at that.

**He wasn't dangerous, he was about four emotionally and as we found out later… homeless. So he lives with us now, because of this the assholes at school give me a lot of shit. They don't know what he is, just that he'll cry if you call him a freak long enough, bastards. A shadow outside my window caught my eye.**

"Oh great," Hera groaned, "I hate foreshadowing." Well your screwed I thought to myself this entire book is one great heap of it one after another.

"**Annabeth," I muttered. What was she doing here early; we were supposed to spend time together after school. I invited her up because I was considering fessing up about Luke. I didn't think I could though, I didn't know if I could talk about it.**

Hermes voice shook as he read the part about his son.

"**Chiron wants me to keep you away from camp for as long as possible," Mom said after hugging me good morning. I sighed and looked at Tyson, what was I going to do with him when I went back to camp? I didn't want anyone to hurt him.**

"Well that's a rock and a hard place," Dionysus muttered, "Because even if he did, there wouldn't be a lot of people that would be anything less than cruel to him."

"Percy could persuade them to act differently," Hestia said confidently. I however hesitated on agreeing, mortals were some of the cruellest beings in existence.

"**I'll pack after school," I responded. Annabeth, I suddenly thought. Was she here to keep me form going or to get me there quicker? Mom glanced at the clock and shooed us out the door.**

"Knowing Annabeth, probably help him get there quicker," Athena said thoughtfully.

"I don't think so, she strikes me as someone that would disobey Chiron," I responded.

"Yes, but if she didn't know and was chased by monsters since leaving home, then she would," Hera said logically. Athena beamed at her and she, shakily returned the smile.

"**Hey freaks," a guy shouted at us. You'd think by now that I am able to name these assholes, but the fact was I simply didn't care enough to remember their names. One spoilt little rich boy acting like he's the most badass thing to walk the earth and you've seen them all. **

"If they get to annoying I'll turn them into jack lopes and hunt them," Artemis said staunchly, "Cause I refuse to listen to a bunch of pre-adolescent boys cause trouble." At least I wasn't the only one to muffle my laughter at the irony of _Artemis _defending a boy.

"**Don't listen to him," I assured Tyson as he began to sniffle, "He's a dumb-ass."**

"Well that's one way to deal with it," Hermes chuckled, "I wonder whose kid the Cyclopes is?"

"OMG, wouldn't it be totally cool if Tyson was Percy's brother," Aphrodite squealed, "And then they could go to camp and Percy wouldn't be alone, cause he'd be sharing a cabin."

"Yeah, it doesn't work like that in real life," Athena said. Now would it be ironic if she were wrong.

"**What did you call me?" he demanded. Something that has more syllables than you have brain-cells I thought. "Hey I'm talking to you. Just you wait until gym, my new friends and me are gonna pulverise you. There from Detroit." **

"Oh, yes, because he totally can't scare the crap out of us," Apollo said sarcastically, "He's really going to be scared of people from Detroit."

**"Fuck my life," I murmured. Just what I need right now cannibalistic giants, not to mention that Annabeth was running around here somewhere, I'd have to figure out what to do about Tyson and I was going to miss Broke Girls…. Fuck. My. Life.**

"He sounds like his most upset about missing his TV show," Hestia exclaimed, "Why am I not surprised?" Was this good for me, or bad? Hell, maybe he's like Poseidon. Percy could be the type of person that grows on you.

"From what I know about my son, it's a definite possibility," Poseidon said tiredly, I pecked him on the cheek and he grinned… manipulative bastard.

**The school Tyson and I went to was a **_**'progressive' **_**school, which meant teachers wore what they wanted, we called them by there first names and sat in beanbag chairs instead of at desks. Which if they weren't complete and utter morons would have been really cool. There idea of assessment was to have us play unsupervised in the playground after reading 'Lord of the files'.**

"If Percy could be fucked with these idiots I'd be getting popcorn and watching the smack down," Hestia chirped.

"Aunty H, after this well go watch cage fighting," Ares promised. The things that happen in this family… they didn't bare speculating on.

**Gym wasn't going to be fun, thanks to my little trip through time and space, changing the way I see the world the mist wasn't a problem. This meant that I was able to sword up for the impending confrontation. No dirty jokes please.**

There was many snorts of suppressed laughter, many, many snorts.

"Does anybody else need something more said about time and space," Athena said, "Because it's driving me nuts not knowing."

"Yeah, well I'm not looking again," Apollo said shortly. No, I don't expect that he would be.

**The giants quickly spiralled out of control. Why people didn't realise that they had written names like Marrow-sucker, Bone-Cruncher and Gods forbid, Joe-Bob. Dodge ball just took on a camp intensity. **

"Is no one else worried?" Athena said. We just looked at her strangely.

"Why?" Dionysus finally asked.

"Because fighting in a gym full of mortals with cannibalistic giants made him think,_ 'Oh, this is just like camp'_" she responded, "Seriously, we send our kids here?" We all shifted uncomfortably.

"**We will destroy you Percy Jackson, for Kronos," the ugliest said throwing the squishy ball with enough force to crash a hole in the wall. I have never been so happy to have Tyson present than I was at that moment.**

"Yeah, there is nothing better that Cyclopes help when you're in trouble," Poseidon said seriously.

"Tell me about it," Hephaestus agreed, "I would be so behind without them."

"**They smell funny," he said scrunching up his nose at the giants and catching balls aimed at the other students. My brain was working overtime; we had to get the mortal out of here before they became giant food. Not matter how amusing it would be to see some of the assholes eaten.**

"No, no Percy, let the bad mortals be eaten," Hera cooed. My sister is freaking scary, on every level… I wonder why Zeus married her?

"I long for the days where you weren't a psycho," I said. She just looked at me as if to say, _'You… are worried about my craziness? Fuck me'_

"**You guys aren't from Detroit," the idiot from this morning yelped. **

"I never would have guessed," Hermes said, his voice laden with sarcasm.

"**Tyson, get everybody out of here," I said quietly. He nodded in childlike understanding and started ushering out everybody out and catching or diverting any stray balls that came their way. **

"He really is different for a Cyclopes? Isn't he?" Hephaestus grunted. (Does anyone else hate it when people grunt? It's like please, speak properly.)

**I looked around the room and quickly found what I was looking for, a drinking fountain. It rattled ominously before exploding, blowing a hole right though the wall. I concentrated on wrapping the water around their feet and downing them long enough for me to kill them.**

"I think," Ares said slowly, smiling, "That, that is cheating."

"Nephew dearest," Hestia said in the sweet way that she used to before we started reading these books, "Who really gives a fuck?"

"I'll never get used to that," Zeus muttered. Me either.

"**What is going on," the couch shouted finally wising up to what was going on. Unfortunately I was the only one standing in the room that was flooded and suitably exploded. **

"Ah, that can't be good," Apollo said. Artemis just face-palmed.

"**Percy, run," Annabeth's hand grasped my hand and tugged me out of the building through the giant hole in the wall, Tyson running after us.**

"Annabeth isn't going to be happy about that," Athena said tiredly. She better not cause trouble, I grumbled internally.

"**Nice to see you… or not-see you wise girl," I said chuckling. She whipped off the Yankees baseball cap of invisibility and sneered at Tyson.**

"This is going to wind up like when she tried to hate Percy for being a son of Poseidon," Hermes said, "Isn't it?"

"I reckon so," Aphrodite answered, "This should be amusing."

"**What is that doing here," she stated prissily, reminding me of the first time I had met her. Not a pleasant experience. **

"I'll deny I ever said this, but I'm happy that my daughter and your son are friends," Athena said to Poseidon. There was dead silence….

"Please tell me that you saw that coming and got it on video?" Hermes asked Apollo. Apollo nodded as we listened to the playback in awe. This... this was going on YouTube.

"**Annabeth," I said harshly, she flinched. "This is Tyson, he's a friend of mine. Didn't we have a talk about discrimination before?"**

"Ten drachma's she apologises," I said cheerfully.

"Ten she doesn't, her mother is one of the stubbornness people to ever grace the planet," Poseidon responded as Athena harrumphed.

"**Sorry Percy, I've just had bad experiences with Cyclopes," she admitted. I just stared at her; she didn't seem to be getting the idea.**

"Thank you," I said holding out my hand, but Poseidon just smirked.

"Don't have ten on me, I could give it to you later," he said cheekily, "Or you can take it out in trade." The rest of the room had one of three reactions, cooing, wolf whistling or face-palming.

"**I'm not the one that you should be apologising to," I said, she blushed in shame before turning to Tyson.**

"Good, she knows when she's wrong," Zeus said, "That is the most common problem with your children, they always want to be right and can't admit that thy aren't."

"Your one to talk, Drama King," I teased, successfully cutting of the rage filled rant that Athena was about to unload on us.

"**I'm sorry," she said through gritted teeth. She knew it was the right thing to do but what ever she had suffered at the hands of other Cyclopes had made her a little irrational. It was okay though she would get over it eventually and wind up a better person for it.**

"I hate it when he's right," Athena mumbled.

"Well get prepared to hate him non-stop, then," Hestia said, "Because he's almost always right." Ouch, that's going to take some getting used to. Especially for the us in the book, that isn't forewarned.

"**Can I go with you?" he asked adorably. Annabeth hesitated before nodding, which was when I actually looked at her properly. She was cover in monster dust, dirty and even a little bit of blood.**

"Is she alright?" Athena asked. Nobody answered, because nobody knew.

"**Camps in a little more trouble than Chiron is letting on, huh?" I asked. She told us about all the trouble that she'd been facing on her way from San Francisco as we made our way out of there. It sounded like Luke was just starting up.**

"It's fine," Apollo murmured to Hermes. He had turned pale at the mention of his son. I didn't know which was worse, if Luke was doing everything of his own free will or if it was all Kronos forcing him. I could even begin to imagine how he felt.

**"We need to get to camp," she said. I nodded; Clarisse had left two nights ago. She paid Mom to watch the girls for the summer, just don't tell Mom because she was against payment and wasn't aware she was receiving it. "I really didn't want to do this but were going to have to call the Grey sisters, got a drachma?"**

"I wonder what's going on at camp?" Dionysus asked. We looked at him for a moment in stark disbelief. He hated camp; I thought he would like it if it burnt to the ground. "What?" he demanded, "I have children there to, dumb fucks."

With that he snatched up the book and began reading.

* * *

**Done, sorry it took so long. Review and tell me what you think? Oh and thinking of righting a fanfiction series, Freaking out the Romans, where the Romans read instead of the Gods.**


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